Along with your gray meat, it is also incumbent upon you, as a good coal cracker host or hostess, to have some starches available for your guests. Might I suggest the classic pierogi?
There are two types of pierogies — block party pierogies and Mrs. T’s pierogies.
Now, far be it from me to offend. Here in Jersey, all I can get are Mrs. T’s pierogies and I serve them proudly. Teddy Twardzik (Mrs. T’s grandson) and I were in Boy Scouts together and he’s a fine fella. Furthermore, he’s built an empire up there in Andoshen, spreading the beauty that is the pierogi throughout the land. God bless ’em.
That being said, Ted’s pierogies are too … perfect. See, this is what a real, church lady pierogi looks like:
The first thing you will notice is its total lack of perfection and beauty. It looks like a big, yellow-ish white lump — almost formless. They are filled with potato and cheese and taste marvelous. Again, just like fresh kielbasi, very subtle to the taste buds, but very comforting indeed.
When you go to a block party in the coal region (which you must all do before you die or else you spend eternity in purgatory), you get something that looks like the picture above. It will have been made by hand by some lady from some local church that is sponsoring the block party (thus the phrase “church lady pierogi”). It is this one-of-a-kind-ness that shows the love that went into it. They can be served deep fried (“Yum!” say my arteries), or sautéed in butter and onions (“Yum again!” say my ever-clogging vessels from the heart).
This, on the other hand, may be the best you can do if you do not live in the region and can only go to the frozen food section of your local supermarket:
Beautiful, isn’t it? So symmetrical and perfect. Plus, Teddy T puts these recipes on the Mrs. T’s boxes telling you to put these pure objects of gastronomical lust into soups (as above), screwered with shrimp, and all kinds of fancy-schmancy things. He even gives them flavors like broccoli and jalapeno. Coal crackers don’t know from jalapeno! We even need that word spelled phonetically on the box, fer crissakes!
Ah, but you can’t build an empire based only upon Lantanengo County block parties. So there you go; when you have company over, have your fresh kielbasi ready, and some pierogies in the fridge that you can warm up for when I come over.
Peace,
Kerry